Being Hired

  • I'll be your squire, sir Jimmy.
  • I get to be on your team, Jimmy?! Cool!

About to Leave

  • This isn't really very fun, Jimmy.
  • I think I might get in trouble if I keep hanging out with you...

Asking for Help

From Jimmy

  • HELP ME!

From Someone Else

  • HELP ME!
  • Somebody please help!

Surprised to Receive Help

  • Um, yeah, you see the... the thing is, uhh... yeah...
  • Um, it's, it's difficult because y'know, that's the thing, yeah.

Asking for Errand

  • I really, really, really need some help!
  • Come on, help me out here, please?
When Jacket is Stolen
  • They stole it and I can't get it back! Oh, please help! (Slight crying)

Bike Related

Crashing Bike

  • Owie!
  • I'm so clumsy!

Seeing Trick

  • I wish I was that cool!
  • Aren't you afraid you'll get hurt?

Seeing Trick Fail

  • Did you get a boo-boo?
  • Did you break anything?

Stealing a Bike

  • I didn't mean it!
  • I didn't wanna do it!

Bike Stolen From

  • Oof! You're so mean!
  • I hope I didn't scratch my glasses!

Bragging After Winning Fight

  • Wee, look at me!
  • This is so much fun!

Bumped Into

Friendly Terms

  • Wanna be friends?
  • You just bumped into me! Ha!
  • That felt funny.

Unfriendly Terms

  • Mind your own beeswax!
  • My mom says you should leave me alone!
  • Why did you just walk into me?
  • I'm sensitive! LEAVE ME ALONE!
  • I'm gonna tell on you!
  • Don't you be, fronting, yo!

After Jimmy gets Expelled(?)

  • Look where you're going, Mr.Loser-Head! Huh!

Bumped by Vehicle

  • Why does this always happen to me?
  • I think I twisted something!
  • Ow! Ow! Ah, ow!!!

Saying Bye

  • Um, Jimmy, I gotta go... I really gotta pee.
  • Um, I gotta go call my mommy... heh heh...
  • Be cool, Jimmy! I gotta... uh... jet!

Commenting on the Carnival

  • I'm so excited, I think I might throw up!
  • Don't know if I should've done that!


  • I'm coming after you!
  • You're gonna be sorry if I catch you! (Panting)

Escaped From

  • You're such a 'fraidy-cat!
  • I can't believe you ran away from me!

Out of Breath

  • (Hysterical panting) That's enough... running Algie!


  • I can't believe anyone likes condiments. I mean, they're like snot or something.
  • How did I get mayonnaise on my pants?! I never even eat that stuff!
  • Gosh! I can't believe Lola actually talked to me!
  • Why hasn't mommy called me yet? I wonder if she's mad at me...
  • Pathetic loser? I'm not a pathetic loser! Mom says I'm not!
  • Ooh, I really gotta go but... what if there's someone in there? Oh, I'll wait.


  • I'm going to tell my mommy about this!
  • He makes me so angry I wanna cry!


  • But why?


  • I'm like, super impressed!
  • Oh wow, I wish I'd done that!


Initiating Conversation(?)

  • I wonder what mom would say.
  • Um, uh, anyways...

Ambient Conversation

  • My mommy says that lots of kid pee in their bed, and it's totally normal!
  • Ted Thompson called me his 'little buddy'! I think we might become friends!
Chapter 1
  • I heard a rumor that the football team will pick on someone other than me this year!
Chapter 2
  • Lola told me she needs help with her homework! I think it's just a cover for her liking me.
Chapter 3
  • I think Gord's been messing around with Lola. Oh, I just can't believe that girl.
Chapter 4
  • That spud cannon is the awesomest weapon ever!
Chapter 5
  • Jimmy told me he'd be president one day! For real!
Chapter 6
  • I heard Jimmy's going to go to prison!

Reacting to a Rumor

  • Meh, even I think that's dorky!
  • Sounds like a good idea for a Grottos & Gremlins game!
  • Ooh, I have to tell my mommy that!
  • So, like, that's anything special? Heh!

Other Ambient Conversation

  • I think I've got some mayonnaise on my pants!
  • I always get picked on! Always, always, ALWAYS!
  • Oh, I wish I wasn't afraid of going to the washroom alone...
  • What I hate the most about school is that my mom can't read me my bedtime stories!
  • Everyone at Bullworth is so mean!
  • The washrooms are really yucky, it's scary!
  • Why do people have to be so yucky?!
  • Condiments are just so disgusting, y'know? Especially mayonnaise, yuck!
  • Next semester, I'm so going to cowboy up! That's for sure!
  • I've gone a whole day without getting seriously beaten up!
  • I actually talked to a real girl today!
  • I put on clean pants this morning, just like mommy told me to.
  • Mommy calls me her precious Prince Algernon, hehehehe!
  • My mom says I'm really special.
  • I changed my underwear today!
  • Mommy writes me every day. She's so nice!
  • Have you ever gone to the washroom by yourself?
  • Do you write your mom every day?
  • Do you ever have to hide from the jocks all day?
  • Did you ever... y'know... cheat on a test?
Responding to a Question
  • Just once.
  • Hehe, maybe. I don't wanna tell.
  • Mommy never would let me.
  • I've always been too afraid to!
  • You should tell your mom!
  • Oh wow, that sucks.
  • Hehhehhehheh, heh! Oh, that wasn't meant to be funny?
  • Sheesh! I thought I was whiny!

Ending Ambient Conversation

  • Um, I gotta go pee. See ya.
  • I um, have to go now. Bye.
  • See ya laters, homies!


DEFIND (Unknown what this is for)

  • I guess I really just suck!
  • I lost! Huh! What a surprise!
  • My mom still thinks I'm a winner!

In Dodgeball

  • Why do I always have to lose?
  • Did we lose? A-Again?!
  • See guys?! I told you we'd lose!


  • Oh, yucky! Grossness!

Don't Hit

  • Why do you always have to hit me?!
  • You're supposed to not hit me right now!
  • Jimmy! Why are you hitting me right now?!


  • You're such a noo-doo head!
  • Mom says I have a real temper, you'll see!
  • I'll get you! MAYO-STAIN!

Initiating Fight

  • You won't like me when I'm angry!
  • Ooh, I'm so angry!
  • Ooh, ooh, ooh, you're really gonna get it now!
  • That's it! I've had it!

Fighting Kids from Other Cliques

  • Oh, you're just angry 'cause you don't go to school!
  • I'm not scared of you and your hair!
  • I can't believe I'm actually fighting a jock!
  • Just because you're rich and good-looking, jerk?!

Hit in the Nuts

  • Ooh, critical hit!

Spit On


Beaten/Knocked Out

  • I want my mommy...
  • Mommy, where are you?
  • I wanna go home...
  • Why does this always happen to me?
  • I think I broke something! Everything!
  • You're just a big bully!

Watching a Fight

  • I just love it when someone beats up someone who isn't me!
  • Hurt him! Make him cry!
  • Hahaha! Fight! Get him!

Surprised to Notice Fight

  • Why do you always pick on me?!
  • Not again!

Fire Alarm Goes Off

  • I-Is it a real fire? Oh, I'm scared!


  • Come on! I-I-I have glasses!
  • Um, i-it's not my fault!
  • Please don't be mean to me!

Food Fight Breaks Out

  • Oh, this'll be fun!

Reacting to Freak Show

  • Weirdos scare me.

Receiving Gift/Item

  • Thanks Jimmy! Oh, you're the best!
  • For me? Really? Thanks!
  • Wow, thanks Jimmy!
  • That's like the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me!

Requesting Gift

  • Aww, Jimmy, c'mon. I want a present.
  • If you were a real friend, you'd give me a present.

Giving a Gift

  • Here, that's for you.


  • Word up, coolio!
  • Greetings, friend.
  • Salutations!
  • Hi, I-I mean, yo.

Greeting Female Authority Figure

  • Greetings, ma'am.

Greeting Male Authority Figure

  • Greetings, sir!


  • What could she mean by 'dorky'?
  • Why did mom cut my hair like that?


  • I'm gonna tell my mommy!
  • Ooh, you're gonna be sorry!


  • Um... hi...!


  • Your mom probably hates you!
  • You're a complete loser-head!
  • Even I think you're a loser!


Short Laugh

  • Hahahahahahaha! Loser-head!

Long Laugh

  • Hahahahahaha! Oh, oh! Hahahahahahahaha!

Wanting Payback

  • He makes me really, really, really angry!


  • BLEEHHH! (Puking sounds/screaming)

Hit by Dead Rat

  • Was that Sniffy?!

Low Faction Respect

  • Go away, Jimmy.
  • I'm too cool for you, Jimmy.
  • Get lost, mayo-stain!

High Faction Respect

  • Greetings, Jimmy!
  • What is, as they say, up, Jimmy?
  • Yo, Jimmy!


  • C'mon! Please, please, please!
  • I won't tell anyone, just, please leave me alone!
  • I'm begging you, please don't hurt me!
  • Aw, c'mon, don't do this to me!

Annoyed by Fight (?)


Seeing Something Cool

  • Oh wow, that's super totally awesome!
  • I'm gonna phone my mom and tell her about that!

Seeing Something Lame

  • That's like, really lame, man!
  • That's like a science experiment gone wrong, or something!

Reacting to Vandalism

  • Why would you be so mean?!
  • Why did you have to do that?!

Reacting to Weapon Fired

  • That's super dangerous!
  • That's so loud!

Reacting to Stink Bomb

  • I think I might (cough) get (more coughing) asthma! (More coughing)
  • I think I'm gonna (coughing & retching sounds) puke!

Reacting to Item in Shop

  • Why am I even looking? Mom does all my shopping, anyway!
  • I'm glad I don't have to wear that!

Sucking Up

  • I think you're the coolest person on campus!
  • Why bother with me? I'm pathetic!
  • I'll be your friend! A-Anything you want!

Reacting to Tagging

  • You're so naughty!


  • If my mommy was here, she would be so angry!
  • Will I get a gold star if I tell on someone? I better, because I'm gonna tell anyways!


  • Loser-head!
  • You're such a num-num!
  • I don't like you!
  • Stinky breath!

When Agitated

  • Ooooh, I'm so gonna hurt you!
  • Don't make me angry!
  • You really make me wanna hit you!
  • You're making me want to hurt you!

Laying Off

  • Oh hahahaha, I was just joking, y'know?
  • I didn't mean anything! Really!
  • Y'know, fighting's not actually allowed!

Taunting When Greeted or Shoving(?)

  • Smelly head!
  • Everybody hates you!

Taunting the New Kid

  • Loser! Yeah, you, new boy!

After Jimmy is Expelled

  • I'm not afraid of you any longer, Jimmy!

Insulting Appearance

  • Stupid hair! Haha!
  • Why would you get a tattoo?



  • (High pitched crying)

Not Intimidated

  • Oh please, like that's a new one?
  • I'm going to pretend I don't care!
  • I always get picked on, so what?
  • Are you done now?

Responding when Not Intimidated(?)

  • Oh yeah, and you're so tough, huh?
  • You think you're cool or something, huh Jimmy?
  • I'm not afraid of you!
  • You're just a loser anyways!
  • Yeah? Well you're a BIG JERK!
  • At least my mother doesn't hate me!


  • Please don't hit me! I've got glasses!
  • I think I'm getting emotionally scarred! Please let me go!
  • Please don't hurt me! My mom will be upset!

Leading the Way

  • Jimmy, it's this way, I-I think!
  • Umm, it's this way!

When Jimmy Goes the Wrong Way

  • Jimmy, that's the WRONG WAY!
  • That's the WRONG way! Can't you do anything right?!

Reacting to Bullying

Before Being Given Swirlie

  • PLEASE DON'T! I'm afraid of germs!
  • PLEASE DON'T! I'll have nightmares!
  • Oh god, please do not put my head in there!

After Being Given Swirlie

  • (Crying) That was... mean! (More crying)
  • You've scarred me for life, y'know that?! (Crying)
  • (Whilst crying) As if I wasn't scared enough of toilets already!


Trash Talking During Dodgeball(?)

  • You're so gonna lose, mustard-stain!
  • I'm not afraid of you, loser-brain!
  • My mom says I'll win, haha!
  • You don't have a chance against Team Nerd!
  • Let's try not to lose this time, guys!
  • Everyone on this team is special! Yeah!

Victory in Dodgeball(?)

  • This is the best thing that ever happened to me!
  • I won! I won! I really won!
  • Hahaha, you just lost to Algernon!
  • Dude, did we really win?!
  • Team Nerd for the win!
  • I can't wait to tell my mom we won!

Victim of Prank(?)

  • Why does it always have to be me?
  • I'm going to tell my mommy!
  • That's! So! Not! Funny!
  • I thought we were friends!

Playing Prank(?)

  • Who's pathetic now?!
  • HAHA! This is fun!


  • That would never happen at home!

What Is That

  • What is that anyways?

When the TV Gets Shut Off

  • Oh, that's okay. I wasn't watching that anyways!


Chapter 1

  • Oh no, not again!
  • Those guys are bad! We should go another way!
  • Not this way!
  • Wow, you really showed them!
  • I've been thinking a lot about snails recently... they're slimy!
  • I always wondered what it'd be like to big, and tough, and really stupid!
  • My mom calls me "Prince Algie". She says I'm really special, l-like a prince, y'know?
  • Hey Jimmy, did you ever play Grottos & Gremlins? It's really keen! You can like, totally be a cool hero who kicks ass and stuff!
  • You know Lola? She's really hot and actually talked to me the other day! I think, maybe she wants to be my girlfriend or something! Haha!
  • Do you really have to pee when you get nervous? I do! I get nervous a lot.
  • I've already wet myself once this month, if I do it again they'll never let me hear the end of it!
  • I really have to pee... but I'm scared. Will you please stand watch? Last time I went in there, they made me eat a urinal puck whole!
  • I have to gooo! Ohh!
  • I really, really, really, really have to go!
  • Can we find a washroom?
  • I can't go in there. That's for girls.
  • No way, man! That's for girls!
  • (Whimpering)
  • There's no lock in here! I can't go if I don't feel secure!
  • Cover me! I'm going in!
  • Hey! Were there two people in that stall?!
  • Can you guys keep it down?! I can't concentrate!
  • Y-You guys are making me nervous!
  • Jimmy! I can't go with all that noise!
  • Ah, feels so good! Oh my god thank you, ah, ah, ah!
  • Mommy told me to always wash my hands.
  • I feel much better now!
  • Heh, pretty much.
  • Here it is!
  • Hey, you want a soda? I'm parched!
  • Okay, now all we gotta do is get back to the library!
  • Thanks Jimmy! Here's the cash! I'll tell my mom that not everyone at Bullworth is mean!

Chapter 2

  • Waaah hee hee!
  • Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick!
  • I think so. Let's go check!
  • Ah, hello Edna! Hello Dr. Watts!
  • Are you, like, coming up with biological experiments for the school food?!
  • Hahaha, can you imagine if they dated, like, if they made a mold bowl(?) or something?
  • Is that what you guys are talking about? Huh?!

Chapter 3

  • B-ah-But, I was just helping Lola study, honestly! I'm so scared!
  • I'm outta here!
  • It's a trap! It's a trap!
  • You're worried about your reputation?!
  • Well thanks for all the help, Jimmy! Perhaps you could come over to the Observatory, and play a game or two of Grottos & Gremlins with us sometime!
  • No! No! No! You can't use diplomacy to make the elf princess do that!

Chapter 4

  • Leave us alone, BULLY!
  • Are they gone?!
  • Me and Zeus got your back! Go lay the smackdown!
  • Agent Bull, before I give you any sensitive information, I must ask you for the secret password.
  • Haha, ha... ha... ha... No... but it'll do. Okay, here's the deal.
  • The Jocks keep their game sports drink in a cooler, go urinate in it! Enhance it, if you will!
  • Don't get caught with your pants down!
  • What? Hah?! I didn't do anything!
  • Eehehehehe!

Others on Algernon

  • Donald: I heard Algernon is helping Lola out with her homework, lucky bastard.