User blog:MichaelDiaz101/A Different Outlook

I was a little reluctant to talk about it.

Honestly I can't even go into detail about everything because there's some bad memories I've suppressed for well over 15 years. Bullworth was something to behold. The broad shouldered gargoyle-like things that sat on the shoulder area of the main gate. They watched you and they judged you and you would soon feel that judgement come to fruition. Once that gate opens and you walk in you feel like you're being watched, like someone, or something, is slowly gripping its serrated teeth into you.

I knew the stories about this place, every kid did. In those days early website forums that us teenagers used always talked about this place. Bullworth Academy. I feel like most of this school is folklore except the crazy shit really happens. The whole Gothic exterior was intimidating, it really was. The dorms were set a good distance from the main building and waking up in the morning to walk to it you could feel your stomach turning, your legs wobbled as you walked and you could feel eyes of the predatory Bullies on you. I think every kid who wasn't associated with a clique felt this sinister routine everyday was like some curse that fell upon your family back in the ancient times.

There were nice kids, but even they kept their distance from those that were so weak it wasn't even worth it. I had many good friends from all of the cliques, but even if I stood up for this dork kid named Algie I'd be just as tarnished as he was and I actually think I'm a pretty nice guy. I wasn't going to take any kind of risk that would result in my ass being dragged through the mud, and that isn't figuratively speaking either.

The Jocks were the top predators but if you got one to like you most stood in line and they kept their harsher comments to themselves. The Preps, even when they liked you, they'd treat you like garbage. Greasers were as out of fashion as the Nerds were but they wore their like of conformity with some kind of twisted pride. The Nerds were.... Treated accordingly when you think about how kids who don't fit in socially, or even genetically, would cope in an environment of excessive violence and malignant behavior.

Thing I learned early on is pick your battles with caution. Walking down from the front steps of the school to see an overweight nerd dweeb with his back on the pavement getting curb stomped by some over muscled douchebag with an IQ of 7 you keep walking, but maybe you could help a kid who isn't a nerd out of a jam when some Bully kid wants to show the kid the inside of his locker, it's all about timing and who you're doing it to.

I wasn't bullied to the extent of many of those around me. I was pretty average size, average build, average looking. If you're too good looking at Bullworth they'll torment you, if you're too ugly at Bullworth they'll torment you. Bullworth is the place where being painfully average is a luxury that you're surprised to have.

Each day was repetitive when you think about it. From the first day of school my Freshman year to the last day of school Senior year I still felt like I wouldn't make it through to the next day. That fear really drives into you. Crabblesnitch was ignorant at best and sadistic at his worst.

When you think about the drawbacks of this place it makes it sound horrible.... Well, it really was. But some of the greatest friends I ever got were from this place. We braced through the traumas of the day together, we did some pretty fun stuff together, and we made it to the end. As I try to forget what happened I realized I carried a bit of a mental reward across my chest for even withstanding the waves that tore at me everyday when I was at this school. Guess it even influenced my whole outlook on life because surviving in a dump like that really makes you realize the finer qualities of life. That being said....

....I really don't ever want to repeat that.