User blog:Dark Seeker Kotsu/Beckett: Having a thousand names and keeping none

Kev first told me all of this yesterday. And I saw him pull out every yearbook picture, every student ID card he’s ever been issued. “I don’t even remember my real name. None of it.” He said. Kev had changed his name and hidden from his past for almost his whole life. “Ever since my birth parents abandoned me I decided I was going to be no one’s son.” He said, finally dropping his Bullworth ID card on the top of the pile. “And Kev is my name now only it’s not the damn name I got from those people I came from. It’s my own name that I gave myself.” He said, “Just like everything else I own. I got it myself.” And left. Left me wondering about everything we fight about and it’s all just stupid. Nothing means anything. There isn’t a world without a sky or a ground or stars so there just isn’t life without fighting over stupid stuff, it’s just unavoidable. And of course I’m off again, muttering “I’m going.” And I just leave and I walk around and I think again. And I already hear people arguing over the dumbest things as I walk and I just keep going until I'm at the Lookout and everything's quiet and I'm just trying to keep it that way so I can wonder all of those questions and thoughts...and then I can just ask why. Why me? Why you? Why everything? Because I wonder what this was all for but I guess everyone has a purpose, like a little hidden instruction manual was supposed to come with each kid but the angels lost them so no one knows why people walk the way they do and act the way they do and what their true hidden purpose is. It's like God or whoever or whatever rules this existence of everything, well it's like God just didn't bother to make people understand because that is just how it is and people already need to do more for themselves and others as is. And they all fight and scream and hit each other and act like they're top dog when really they're not. I'm top dog because I can stop and just think all of this and I believe in having faith in everyone and I just believe and that's how I'm on top of the world right now...only the idiots who are arguing below me are too concerned in "he said she said" nonsense and the ones right near me are too concerned with arguing about what movie they're gonna see and how they "never get what they want" when really it's because they don't get it for themselves.