User blog comment:TheToughGuy/BULLY: THE UNDEAD STORY--Chapter 25/@comment-5385060-20151125110126/@comment-5385060-20151125201952

I did wonder what Clayton got up to, but I'm guessing the next chapter or so will explain that.

Writing style wise, you are improving. I have seen it happening chapter by chapter.

The only thing I could suggest, and trust me it is small; Jimmy. Perhaps give him a little bit more development on his own. Show how he is dealing with the whole zombie thing. I mean, yes, he has to be strong because he is king of the school. But also considering that most of the kids he spent the last year getting to know are dead, that must shake up something in him. I found it nice that he notices something wrong in Clayton and supports him, but Jimmy must feel something in his own way. Not in a way that makes him all touchy-feely or make the story sappy. Maybe give him a paragraph or a few sentances where he sits back, and the full weight of what is going on hits him, and gives him new resolve not to let it happen to anyone else. Then even if more people do die, it shows that he isn't the same as when the story begun.