User blog:WayfinderOwl/Notes for my story

My story might take a while to sort out. For what I have, I would like some opinions. Be brutal if you like. I really don't want my work to be generic.

Joshua Hyde; Story Protagonist
Age: 15

Bio: Joshua Hyde moved around a lot growing up. Living everywhere from Hove Beach, Alderney, to Paleto Bay at one point. Every couple of months his parents pack up and move to a new neighbourhood, to find a new batch of gullible idiots they can scam every last penny out of.

Joshua himself is a good actor (he has to be, or his parents would have put him up for adoption years ago.) Mainly he wishes to find a place where he can fit in and be himself. Away from his awful parents.

Appearance: (Will be added shortly or the weekend at most)

The Story
I have some unfinished drafts to sort out, this may take a while. Of sorts I may follow the structure of the game a little with the clique orders. Only change will be making the Jocks and the Nerds a seperate chapter each. I have no proper snippets to add because it is all on paper, but I will improv a dialogue descriptive in his personality.

Free Wedgie Included
Clique: Bullies

"Parents; gone. They say this school has the toughest rep. Compared to life with Mom and Dad, this place will be a vacation. Enemies come in many shapes, and for me this is the white shirt wearing Bullies. If I want a comfortable life, I'll have to learn to run fast or toughen up. If Russell Northrop really is dumb, can he really be oblivious to the fact that I don't enjoy beating up weak kids and spending their bribes at YumYum Market on eggs to throw at them? I can act but, is my acting really that good?"

Who Needs Friends (I'm Rich)
Clique: Preps

"Who knew preying on the weaker kids could be that lucrative? Who knew that dear old scamming Mom and Dad would be my way in to the most spoiled and pampered clique in the school. Instead of doing all the hard work, I can sit back pay someone else to do all the hard work for me. Having the hottest girls in the school suddenly interested in a con artist's son is a perk I am yet to become accustomed to, but the one girl I want may just land me back at the loser table, listening to an insomniac and a video game geek try to be cool."

(More to be added later. Got to log off for a while.)