User blog:SodaCat/Millstone - Insomniac

 insomniac.

137 days before

August 23, 2007 

"That's gotta be, the most underhanded, irresponsible thing, I ever heard, and I can't take it!"

It was a warm night, August 23rd of '07. I had just stumbled on Wade, drunk, slumped against one of the outer brick walls of the park. The one in Old Bullworth Vale, with the central gazebo, the same place where Hopkins and that redhead chick knocked Burton over in one of the port-o-potties.

He was breathing heavy, blue eyes clouded over in that familiar hazy state he got in after raging around and breaking stuff. As if that wasn't enough to let me know, his bat was right beside him on the concrete, looking more chipped than it was last time.

He wasn't listening, so I had to nudge him with my foot, hard. I regret stuff like that now, but you gotta get me; Wade was almost fuckin' impossible to deal with when he got like this. He didn't get anything that wasn't violent or angry when he got like this.

"Didn't you get my text?" he asked, not even bothering to look at me or anything. "He threw me out. Again."

I remember sighing, kinda rolling my eyes too, maybe. Wade's old man threw him out same way you put a cat out at night; without thinking twice about it. Never really got why it bothered him so much, it was pretty routine to me by then at that point. Old man showed up with his whore, fought with Wade for some dumb shit reason, kicked him out, then Wade went off and vandalized somethin', or (tried to) beat up the wrong person. At that point me and the guys (but usually just me) had to step in and haul his ass to school. I mostly just took him back to my ma's place in Bullworth Town, 'cause I knew he liked it there.

"Shit, man," I replied, shoving my hands in the pockets of my jeans, "my phone's dead. You shoulda just gone right to the apartment, you know my ma woulda let you in. You're just lucky I took a walk tonight, I was real close to just stayin' in and watching some movies or some shit."

Instead of answering he just stood up, using his bat for support. We didn't have to talk about the plan at this point; it was real simple. Wade was just supposed to follow me, either to the apartment or to school. Since it was summer, though, we were going to the apartment. Man, he could've walked by himself, eyes closed.

"You need to start wearing shoes, loser," he muttered so quiet I almost didn't hear it, "you're gonna end up with glass through your foot."

When I looked down I saw he was right; I didn't even remember to put on socks or anything. Same difference, though, I hated shoes--still do. Though, I do usually try and get socks on.

"Look who's talkin'," I shot back, annoyed by that point 'cause it was late and I was getting kinda hungry anyway. Being mad and worried about him both at the same time made me forget what I was doing: looking for some place to eat. Guess that doesn't make much sense, considerin' I was going the wrong way anyway, and all the good food places in the Vale are the other way down the road. For some reason, I always ended up walking around the park when I went out for night walks. Guess it came in handy, dealing with a guy like Wade.

Wade didn't bat an eyelash at my answer, he wasn't really much for talking after fighting with the old man. Said it drained him, or somethin'. I used to wonder what happened with Wade's sister, Christy, whenever he and the old man went at it, but I never actually asked him. Didn't wanna piss him off any more than he was, like hell he needed that.

"You hungry?" I said finally, giving up on being mad at him 'cause he's my best friend and you're not supposed to stay mad at your best friend for feeling stuff too long.

He said yeah, so we took a short cut to get to the burger joint faster. Burger's a real shitty place for eating, both me and him thought it, but Bullworth doesn't have any Burger Shots so that was what we had to make do with.

Place is open all the time, which sucks ass for the dudes that work there, but was pretty lucky for me and Wade, so we just walked in and ordered bacon cheeseburgers with ice cream shakes and the largest sides of fries they had. Heart attacks on plates, overpriced at that, but we still had our funds from last year's freshman class, so we managed okay.

We didn't stay at the place, though, mainly 'cause I was getting tired and the dude at the register kept eyeing Wade, so I knew he knew Wade was drunk, and he definitely seemed the type to call the cops. So we bailed outta there pretty fast, I mean, fast as you can when you're a drunk guy and a barefoot guy when no taxis are running.

"Your mom home?" Wade grilled me after a decent amount of miles walked, and I gave him a funny look at that.

"You ever seen her anywhere else?" I challenged, 'cause it was a stupid question. After the old man dipped out and moved back to Liberty, she didn't go much of anywhere besides Russell's house, sometimes, when his parents asked her real nice to have a dinner party.

Wade nodded, his eyes clouded over again, but not mad this time. "Must be nice," he said, voice just as weird as his eyes, "having her home all the time."

I didn't say much after that, 'cause Wade was acting weird and I never knew how to talk to him when he got like that, anyway. When he was like that, he wasn't the guy who was my best friend. And yeah, I know that sounds bad, but it's true, and he wouldn't mind my saying it anyway. When he got like that he wasn't the guy I became friends with. Sure, he was my best friend all the same, but I just didn't know how to get along with him when he was like that.

Sometimes I wonder if that was the key.

Anyway, we walked through the night, not talkin' much. Each one of us carried one of the handles of the plastic bag carrying all our grub in our hands, staring straight ahead, me walking kinda slow 'cause the glass through my foot thing kinda spooked me. Wasn't much to look at that time of night--I forgot to mention, it was maybe four in the morning. Wade and his dad fought late, I'm an insomniac. It worked out.

We had to walk real quiet through the apartment, it was small and the walls were thin, and I didn't wanna wake my ma up. Wade didn't say nothin' either, just kinda followed along like a dog would, and we walked into my room and he helped me pull the mattress out from under my bed. We kept it there just for him, which now lookin' back, maybe I should've taken that as a sign. He had to stay over at my place so often, I had to get a spare mattress for him.

Sittin' there in the dark got real quiet and boring, even with the sound of us chowing down the burgers and shakes and fries. I was almost asleep with a fry dangling outta my mouth when I heard him.

"You ever think about death and shit, man?"

I sat up, my eyes strainin' to see him with the dim glow of the streetlight shining through the crummy, dirty window in my room.

"Why you askin' me that shit for, man?"

I heard the scrape of his shirt against the mattress, and I knew he shrugged. "Just wondering."

Rolling my eyes, I turned back and let myself slump back on my bed. "Shit man, I don't know. Don't ask that type of shit this late. Just go to sleep, okay? Don't think about that type of crap. Y'know what, fuck your old man, just stay here, okay? We'll beat up some losers tomorrow and then watch all the Scream movies, cool?"

He chuckled. "Yeah man, sounds pretty fuckin' great."