User blog comment:Cdc1998/A New Face at Bullworth: Part 3/@comment-2173402-20150622213047

Like Lucky said; don't sweat your writing being long! But if it gnaws at you like stuff gnaws at me when it comes to story organization, you could always separate it into separate blog posts, no biggie :)

I think you really accomplished what you wanted out of Charlie and Edgar, you really brought them both to llife in this.

You said you wanted feedback, so I just have a couple points I'd let you know; just keep in mind I'm not trying to sound like a know it all D: Because, after all, I really do love this story.

I think you could use a little more page breaks, I know that I have a semi short attention span so whenever I see long paragraphs I get kinda fidgety. They're also a lot of repetition of the word 'says' and 'asks', maybe you could try using different words like 'exclaimed' and 'questioned' and the likes? I don't know, those are lame examples but you get my gist xD

Also just curious, how come Jimmy Queen is referred to as only Jimmy Queen? Just wondering.

Anyway, I really do like this story and I can't wait to see where it goes from here. Nice work, dude :)