User blog comment:SirLinkalot96/The Greg Ryder Saga: Part 5: Chapter 8: Assistant Principal Johnson/@comment-4675595-20130304161634

Sorry it's taken so long to get around to this - I've been wrapped up in my novel for these past few days. Onward to the critique!

To be honest, it's a little tricky to try to analyze this character, since a lot of these plot elements are so far from reality. But that's kind of your guys' thing around these parts, so I'll try my best.

What I gather from all this is that Greg is an aggressive person with a big mouth. He growls and swears at even minor annoyances, and openly threatens someone who has the power to ruin his life. When he's in the heat of the moment, he doesn't rationalize his words or actions, or consider any of the potential consequences. However, when he's out of Johnson's sight, he does seem to reflect on the situation a little bit, and weigh his options.

I also noticed that at the very beginning, when he and his friends are just sitting around chillaxing, he seems a bit more observant than in the rest of this section - he reaches the conclusion that Michael won't smoke with them to keep in shape, even though Michael didn't say anything about it out loud. But when he's called up to the office, there's a dilema, and he becomes manic and angry and doesn't make any more subtle observations. I get the impression that Greg is easily flustered, and gets too worked up to really think things through or notice things that aren't laid out directly in front of him.

That's really all I could really say about this character at this point, since this was such a short piece and I'm not sure how far back you started to develop him. But if there are any specific scenes you'd like me to look over, just say the word.

As for developing him further, ask yourself which direction you'd like him to go in, and how do you want your readers to see him? What can you have him do to give off the right impressions?

If you'd like, I know of a few good character development questionaires floating about the net, so I can link you to a few if you get stumped.

Hope this helps~