User blog:Dark Seeker Kotsu/Beckett goes to Bullworth 4: Strength

Two months later...

Yeah almost Valentine's day. Not like I had anything to look forward to except the fact everyone else was happy. Oh cheer up I told myself but I couldn't help it. I was dysfunctional ever since I found out I had been cheated on by the one person I was sure that had loved me. I was sitting on the steps outside. I scowled. I looked at my right hand which was now covered in more scars, permanent ones. Well I could predict I would be alone again for Valentine's day. Go figure I thought. I wasn't totally functional yet and my Biology grade had dropped faster than a large stack of poorly balanced plates. The others tried to help me get over it but I was just still shell-shocked by it, which had forced me back inside my mental wall of defense. I hardly talked to anyone anymore and I got called to the office because in class I just talked backed to teachers whenever I felt like it. I sighed as the bell rang. English time.

I flung my backpack indifferently under the desk and I sat in my seat. Almost automatically I folded my arms on the desk and hid my face in them. Class seemed to pass by in a flash but then Mr. Galloway asked me to stay after. Despite my newly acquired stormy behavior I recalled that Mr. Galloway had never given me a good reason to unleash hell on him so I stayed seated. "Yeah?" I asked. "Beckett, your friends have told me about your problem." he said. "What about it?" I said, forcing myself to not use any attitude. He looked at me, slightly concerned and I knew why. Back at the beginning of December I'd been the perfect student; I turned in work early, got great grades and I was always eager to answer questions for others and contribute to class conversations. But ever since I'd found out Alice had cheated on me and all I've been withdrawn; barely turning work in on time, my grades were becoming mediocre and I didn't say anything even when I got called on. Then Mr. Galloway looked at me with a spark of hope. "Beckett?" he asked. "Hm?" I replied, but slightly interested. "What is your strength Beckett? I don't mean like muscles. But what motivates you? What makes you try your hardest?" he asked me. I thought about it for a moment, this question really threw me in the spotlight. Then it hit me. I had answered this question before in an essay he'd assigned me earlier on.

"My friends." I replied. He waited and so I went on. "They always try to make me feel better even when they're feeling horrible too. I've been so selfish shutting myself off from people that need me." I said. Then I looked at myself. ''You know what? Why am I even this shut down? That girl wasn't even worth the pain. ''"Sorry sir I have to go see my friends." I said. He nodded, giving me an encouraging smile before I grabbed my backpack and left out the door. As soon I as I rejoined my friends for the first time in a while and they smiled and I smiled back only it was genuine and it was the goofiest smile I could manage, goofy enough for them all to laugh. "Glad to see you happy again bro." Kian said.

"You know..." I started, feeling philosophical which does happen to me sometimes. "What?" Zack asked. " You know how Valentine's day has to with love?" I asked. They nodded. "Well...well why do I need a girlfriend to have a great Valentine's day? I have all the love I could ever handle right here with my friends. And what more could a guy ask for?" I concluded.